is blood thicker than water?

Don't text me and complain about me not keeping in contact with you when you don't keep in contact with me either. Family is a strong word. The bond between family is supposed to be strong too but you all proved that to be wrong. Ever since daddy passed away you were all there for me but I knew it was a matter of time until it all fell apart. I tried texting but I got no replies. So I do admit I haven't made an effort anymore but that's because I was getting ignored or one word texts back. Do you know how much it hurts? And for someone to go from my best friend, brothers girlfriend, nephews mother to a stranger is heart breaking. You say it's all my fault. But its you too you know! I'm sorry to you all that I'm not the perfect person. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect grand daughter, niece, cousin, sister, aunt but you're all the same since a year ago.

Every little thing.

I'm sat here listening to songs, thinking of you and how things used to be. I was going through our pictures and in every single one, I can remember that moment. What I was feeling inside, what we were doing and what was being said. I remember the way you would say some thing and how I would laugh. I remember the way your hands felt when you would hold mine to dance. I remember how your hugs felt and how soft but tight you would hold me, as if you never wanted to let me go ever again. I remember the way you would smile, and the corners of your mouth curved up. I remember every joke you had told me and how you told me. I remember how I would feel when you come into my room and sat on my bed talking to me, mostly about nothing. I remember how lovely your dinners would taste, even if I wasn't hungry. I remember listening to you sing and play guitar, and how great at them both you were. I remember how I loved having a strong daughter, father bond with you. I wish you were still here, because I miss you so much and I need you. I need all this all over again.

Time flies, I fly.

Just 7 more weeks until I'll be back in Sunny New Zealand in the Summer time. I can't wait to be standing on NZ ground again and seeing my friends and family. Time just can't go quick enough!

Mixed emotions.

You break up with me for your ex, and stop talking to me completely. You guys break up and you start talking to me straight away. I knew what you were doing, but went along with it. Wasn't stringing you along or anything, I just liked talking as friends. But tonight you took our talking to a whole new level. Saying "Summer, what you would you say if I told you I miss you? I wanted to say it for a while now."  I'm sorry love, but the clocks have turned and time has changed. You did the breaking up and you say you regret it, but I'm happy being single and being me. And I'm moving back to the other side of the world. I know we're two hours away from each other now, but being the other side of the world in a relationship with you? Hahaha, I don't think so. Friends is good.

The grass is greener on the other side.

I can't believe that I'm about to make another big move in my life. I don't look at it stepping backwards, I look at it as stepping forward. I'm moving back to New Zealand. I applied for a course and I'll get a job. I'll be with my mummy, little brother and family. And I'll get to see all my friends again. I'll be back in the sun and going to the beach, driving and laughing. I really can't wait to go back!

An old love.

I was sat looking at all our pictures, letters and mails. Do you know I had a dream about you last night? It made me miss you. I just want to see you. Not to be together again. Just to see you one more time while I can.

I hope she gives you herpes.

I can't wait to come back to Midleton, and go out and look hot, be with my new guy and watch your face turn white while your jaw hit the floor and your girlfriend goes green with jealousy. Seriously.