Wednesday, April 21, 2010

i can't do this.


i know you like a protective girl. but i can't do it to this. because she's my friend. and you will get angry at me. it's happened to me before. i got cut up and hurt. i couldn't handle it, and i don't want to try to again. so please. stop it. even if you are helping. stop it.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

the perfect letter.


you told me you wanted to write out your feelings for me. so you did. it was the cutest, most perfect i had ever gotten. it had the most perfect words in it. i will never get rid of this letter. and that's a promise.

i love being with you.


Friday, April 16, 2010

fuck off bitch.


this is my house bitch. you're just here because you're getting paid to clean it. so fuck offf and do your job. it's not mine, is it? no. so stop getting angry at me for "doingg nothing". because actually, i'm doing more than you fuckarse. get the fuuuck out!

extra mile.


nick says:
its like liking someone so much but, they are everything to you. dont want to be without them for less then an hour, you get home and you think, fuck i could of stayed longer, why'd i leave, makes you want to protect them from the bad and evil. the fuckwits and the jerks, show them how much they mean to you.
love is that extra mile.

you. end of.


you're cute. you make me happy. you're the best thing that has happened to me yet. i don't know what i did to deserve you. i ased for something perfect. but i got you, something much more than perfect. you make me smile every day and night. 24/7. i go to work and think about you for those 5 hours. and i get excited to text you after. as soon as you leave my side, i try not to text you. but i can't go longer than an hour. and even that hour is hard you have my heart. you have my addicted. you have me obsessed.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

140310NR


the last two nights were the worst nights in the last 2 months. you thought i was breaking up with you, i thought you were breaking up with me, you said some things i didn't like, you did things by accident, you took things the wrong way, i took things the wrong way. tears were flowing down my face, full speed for most of the nights. i don't think i have any more tears left. but you made up your mind and decided to send me the best text i could ever recieve. baby, i love you and i'm glad we made it to today. one month down, forever to go.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

this is my choice.


watching the ducks be held by their wings and carried to the area covered in blood, an axe waiting to cut. i got the worst feeling. i ran inside to ignore it, but as i walked past the window, i saw the axe be lifted and then the last sound that duck will ever make. blood ran down the post. the head fell to the ground. i ran to the bathroom and threw up. that duck is an innocent living being. and you kill them just to feed yourself. you're selfish and this is exactly why i'm a vegetarian.

in the end.


it will end up being like this. just to see your smile again.

not normal.


you're making me feel like this at the moment. and i don't like it.

Friday, April 9, 2010

why do i feel like this.


all i can think about is you and how much i love you. you've got me obsessed.

you fucking bitch.


you're such a fucking bitch. a usless escuse for a mother. i can actually say i hate you right now. you were nice for a bit, but all of a sudden you turned into a fucking bitch! i hate it. i hate feeling this way towards you. but you do it yourself. you make it like this. go crash your car and realise how fucking pathetic you're being and realise you will loose everything one day. and tbh, i'm not going to care.

copy cat.


honestly, please just stop copying me and think of stuff on your own. what i do, say, write, wear are all mine. i like my own style. i like my own words. i like my own little stories i write. i liked how i started it. but now you know everything, you copy me. please just fucking stop it. before i explode.

light up this whole town.


compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright.

i mean it when i say it.


realitiy is better than my dreams.


At the speedway, we were with your friends, but we walked off, got a drink, sat and talked. you hugged me to keep me warm, even though i had a big jersey on and you didn't. time passed. we did different things. but the time came for the fireworks. we stood by the fence waiting to see some explosions in the air. you held my hand as all the lights in the stadium went off and it was completely dark. i turned and kissed you as the first firework went off. you looked at me and smiled as i turned to look at them. you stood behind me and wrapped your arms around me. i felt you press your lips gentely against the back of my head. your hug got tighter as you didn't want to let me go. and in that moment, i swear we were infinite. i never wanted it to end. the fireworks ended but i still felt as amazing as i did then. the night came to an end, but the wonderful times and memories with you haven't. this is better than the dream i had about him. you are way better than him. i love you.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Nicole Melville.


i haven't known you for long, but getting to know you has been great. i haven't had this much fun in so long. but with you, i can't stop laughing. i love talking to you about our wonderful guys. i love the texts and cute messages we get from them and how we sit there and say "awwww." it's amazing how close you can get while spending three/four days together. sober driving around, getting pulled up by cops, getting creepy guys come up to the car, imagining my boyfriend in a bunny suit, having bitch fits at a slut, chasing her around and making her scared, eating chocolate for breakfast, making a day of nothing into a day of everything. we have the best times and i can't wait until more come. i'm so happy for you and me, with how our lives are atm. we've moved on from pathetic boys to boys who know how to treat us well. i love you Nicole.

the best feeling.


every text you send me, every conversation on msn, every time i'm with you, everything you say, always makes me smile. i feel so amazing. you make me feel something i haen't before. i just want to put my head in my pillow and scream. i want to run outside and shout to the world how lucky i am to have you. fuck. i love you.

Nick Roberts; 14.03.10


you make me the happiest girl alive. i have about 50 saved texts from you on my phone already. i have many saved conversations from msn on my computer. my mouth hurts from smiling every second of the day. i try to wait for you to text me first once we depart from each other and you do the same. but i can't wait longer than an hour. it's hard. i give in so easily to you. to your kisses. to your hugs. when you hold me i melt. i love waking up in the morning and seeing your face right next to mine. the touch of your hands on my body. everything about you, is amazing. you're amazing baby. i love you.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

it's what you do.


i'm obsessed with you. i can't get you out of my mind. i smell you on my clothes from when i last hugged you. your spray's scent is lingering in my room still. my lips are begging for yours. my arms are reaching out to hug you and hold you. my eyes are searching for you. everything you say to me brings me that little closer to loving you. my mind is going crazy. it's overloading with you. you you you you you. i just have to say "you" and a smile will appear on my face. baby, i'm keeping you for the rest of my time on earth. you have no idea how happy you make me. i'm glad i took that sacrifice of our friendship for this. it's turned out to be the greatest thing yet.

my keeper.


our friendship was the strongest thing i had left. everyone else had walked out on me. i was scared to ruin that. i was scared we'd fall apart from each other. but it turned out to be the complete opposite. you said you're falling in love with me. you wiped my tears and made me smile. tears still dropped from my eyes, but from happiness. never let go. kepp me for as long as you can. keep kissing me every second we're together. keep holding me in your arms. keeps your hugs there for me.

miracale.


you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. you. Nick Roberts. my type of miracale.