So next week is our friends 21st. I'm wondering how it would turn out. All three of you are going to be there, and I'm going to be there. This can turn out good or bad. But none of you are going to stop me having a good night. So before you stop and talk to me, make sure you know what you're going to say. Otherwise just pretend like you're ignoring me.
Monday, May 16, 2011
What me and you had, is gone. Out the window completely. You came back from Spain and chose your girlfriend. I didn't care, I said I was going out being single. If me being with a guy now annoys you, maybe you should of thought about it before you took your girlfriend back. I know you said you were in love with me, but we weren't talking for a while so I thought you didn't like me any more. I'm sorry. I know I'm still in love with you but I need to move on. So don't get mad at me for being with someone now.
Us living together has been the craziest thing we've done yet. It's not a good or bad thing, it's a dangerous thing. The crazy stuff we come up with is insane. But I'm glad you're here. You keep me smiling through the day and you get me drunk at night. What else do we need? Haha. I love you.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
You've been ringing me quite a bit lately. And tbh, I find it a bit cute. Because you take mummy's phone and get my number, dial it into the house phone and sit in your room talking to me for an hour. You're growing up so quickly and I hate that I'm missing it. But I will be with you again soon. I miss you and I love you.
When you came back, you just stopped talking to me. So I just left it at that. I then saw you that weekend in Dublin. It was awkward, weird and heart racing. But I ignored you still. We wouldn't talk any time we saw each other. Last weekend at Gaza's house we would hardly even look at each other. How could it go from being so mad about each other to this? In such little time too? We had a big heart to heart the other morning about it. You told me everything you felt, everything you thought and everything you saw. I told you everything too. But nothing will ever be the same. We have to accept that.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
In all honesty, we've been friends longer than you and him were together. I helped you through everything with him. We had our ups and downs, arguments, fist fights, memories, laughs and jokes. But there is one thing I would never ever do to you. And that is get with the person you were in love with for the last year. The one who fucked you over a lot and I was there to catch you. The one who lied to you a lot and we were there to catch him out. I may be a bitch, but I'm not that much of a bitch to go behind my best friend's back and do that. You saw how much me and him hated each other because of what he did to you. But then we became friends every now and then because he was treating you right. If you don't remember, I was with Nick that night this apparently happened. And I was crazy about Nick just like you were with "him." Tbh, I don't even know what to say. Because I didn't do it, and I don't want to loose you.
A few weeks ago, you asked me for my number, I gave it to you and we were texting for four hours that night. But this weekend, I saw you watching me a lot. I saw you smile at me every time I walked past you in the house. When we were down at Gaza's house, you were sat on the table, and I came and sat in between your legs, just as friends. We had a few fags together and had a few drinks. We had a few jokes and a few smiles. Back at Buddy's house I went straight to the couch so I had a bed. When I woke up you were sat on the arm of the couch, you asked me to move over a bit, so I did and you sat down behind me. You put your arm around me and hugged me. We got cosey and then you put your hand on my face, stroking it while looking at me. I smiled, you moved your hand to my chin and lifted my chin up. You kissed me. We lay there for the night hugging and kissing. You're a cute kind of guy, and I like the fact that I wasn't a one night thing for you. You're texting me now and you like me. I'll see you tomorrow.