Thank you. Really.

I wish you were never born. You've ruined my life. I know they're the worst things to say, but ti's true. My teenage life has been thrown out the fucking window because you were born. It's all about you and I get nothing. You get things brought for you as soon as you ask. I ask for a ride to my boyfriends house and I get a no. Because I have to look after you. I have to stay home all holidays to look after you in the mornings. Then I can't do anything during the day because we live to far away from everything and I can't even get a car or my restricted. Life would be a lot easier without you.

One more time.

Thank you for taking me back. Thank you for making me the happiest and luckiest girl alive. Thank you for trying to make this work. Thank you for making realize some things. I said this is our last chance, and I mean it. But I don't want this to end. I want this to work. You are trying, and I'm trying. I know this will go far. We just have to hold onto each other.

Last chance.

You said it was our last chance. But I have heard that repeated over and over again. You still can't let go of me. You come running back in five seconds. You make this hard for me.

true.

We were supposed to go out to that party, but I couldn't. You said to me that was our last chance to work things out and get back together. When you said this, my heart dropped. I thought it couldn't drop any further. Until I went onto your facebook to write you a cute note to make you smile and ask for one more chance. But I saw you talking to a girl. Asking for her number. Telling her to go to the party with you. Asking where she lives. Calling her babe. Saying you would be keen for her. That was my heart gone. I broke down in tears. I couldn't stop shaking. I text you an abusive text. You acted dumb about it. But you realized you were caught out and you started saying sorry. You started crying and now you want me back. You put me through so much, I just don't know if I can come back.

In the end.

I will say these, and tell you these every day. In the end, I still love you. You love me. And the problem stays the same. Nothing is fixed.

tell her.

She's going to tell you that I'm fucking you over. She's not going to like me anymore. She's going to say anything to make you feel better and bad mouth me. All simply because you are her son and she is your mother. She cares for you and wants the best. I won't be in the list of "best" but you could at least tell her those two words. Just pretend they fell out of your mouth.

I thought it had gone.

I hurt you. I fucked everything up between us. I fucked you around with our plans. I made you get your hopes up and broke them down. I repeated this about a thousand times before you started not to care. I want us to work, but you think I'm doing this on purpose. I'm supposed to be on my way to you now, we were supposed to go out together. But instead I sit in bed crying my eyes out and writing this. I rang you to say I couldn't go. I explained why. It wasn't my fault, but still, you blame it on me. I'm getting sick of these games. Because you do it too. But I take the blame for it all. I don't want us to end, but it's all I think about. You will lose your feelings for me. Tonight you will go out and get with someone else. And you won't tell me until I find out by somebody else. You will deny it and then admit it. It will be the news to hurt me the most. And it will be a reply of my past. A past I never want to see again.